Just yesterday, I spent time talking with a 20-year-old lady. She is talented and full of vision. Yet, she felt stuck and was being really hard on herself for not being able to actualize her full potential. As the conversation unfolded, I affirmed to her that she was born with great value. She was shocked when I said that and said, “Really? Are you sure?” (download this audio note).
I responded, “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that?” She said, “No…I have never been told that my whole life. Are you saying that to just be nice or because it is true?” “I am saying that because I truly believe that all people are born valuable. You are valuable simply by virtue of existence. How would things change for you if you believe this?” I asked. “It would change everything for me if I knew this to be true,” she said.
I was astounded that this human being had never been affirmed for her value. It made me remember that earlier in the week I had coached a corporate leader who was also feeling a bit stuck. He had created an inner pattern of competing with folks around him.
If he saw a colleague who was having success, part of him wished ill on that colleague and he would say to himself: “I can be better than that person. I will prove to them that is the case.” He shared with me that he did not like this part of himself and wanted to be different. As we continued the conversation he realized that growing up, the only time he was ever told he was valuable was if he came home with a good grade or an award.
The form of love his parents knew was a conditional kind of love: if you prove you are worthy, then we will affirm you. If you get external success, then you are valuable. So, he worked so hard to gain their acceptance and to be the top of the top. Yet no matter how much he achieved, he still did not feel valuable enough. I asked him to study his thinking and begin to question the idea that his value was based on external accomplishments. What if he knew that he was valuable, to begin with? What if he had value just by virtue of being? As he thought through the idea he glimpsed the freedom that could be his if he was able to change this thinking.
Now, he is working on transforming his mind to a new thought pattern. And, if he practices, he will bring about a powerful inner shift. Would this kind of thinking shift be of help to you or someone you know? Our planet is riddled with insecure folks who are suffering and depressed.
So many humans sit alone in deep fear wondering if they will ever be acceptable. They feel distraught that they are not good enough and will never be good enough—because that is what someone told them growing up. Wow….what would happen if we could heal this awful mental virus of low self-esteem? We can. Individually we can begin to heal the thinking in ourselves. And, as we free ourselves, we can then begin to heal others. Imagine if the power and potential and peace of the billions of people on this planet became unlocked?
That is the vision I have for humanity. And, my joy comes in seeing one person at a time come to know that they were born valuable and that they can activate power and potential in astounding and joyful ways.
So, I have audio below for those who like to listen. Please share this with your friends and family members who are stuck in low self esteem. Plant a seed of hope in them. And most importantly, heal your own mind to the next level. Please comment and like the post. Reach out if you need support.
Broadcast of Freedom: You Have Nothing to Prove to Anyone (What a Relief!) (click here to skip right to the downloadable audio note).
This is a message to anyone who for some reason was never told….you are valuable by virtue of your existence. There is nothing you need to do, nothing you need to prove to be valuable. You ARE valuable and were born that way. Unfortunately, the circle of people to who you were born may not have known that. They may have been brought up by older generations full of fear and insecurity, under the impression that their value came from achieving good grades, having big titles, reaching levels of power, or garnering financial resources. They may have learned to equate outer success with having value. They may have felt that there was a deficit in them or others around them if they had not attained these “outer symbols of success.” This is a BROADCAST OF FREEDOM: There Is nothing you need to prove to anyone. There is nothing you need to be other than that which you are right here and right now. You are made of Divine substance. You are a walking miracle – a big spirit in a human skin suit walking the planet for an important reason. Will you end up achieving great things? Of course, you will – in your own time and in your own way – perhaps a non-traditional, unique way that the world has never known. You become free, empowered, and even joyful as you release the need to BE something as you release the need to PROVE something to others. As you no longer need to impress or overcompensate and overwork to try so hard to achieve, to accumulate to impress, to make a case to others of your worth. Freedom comes when you know you were born worthy from the highest energy – of life, of power, of, giftedness. If you no longer felt the need to show others your importance…if you could simply RELAX into the valuable being you already are…knowing that as you simply awaken each day, do your best, learn and grow, your destiny will unfold certainly in due time. How would it feel to be this free? To live this way?
Consider this possibility. Notice how trapped you might be by this old paradigm of fear and insecurity…of feeling less than…of comparing your unique path with others…notice how this keeps you stuck, keeps you spinning, keeps you in despair, keeps you in trying to keep up with others rather than in living to your own inner beat of your heart, to the beat of your soul’s calling and purpose. This simple shift – of KNOWING You were born valuable, of knowing that you are valuable just as you are…can change everything if you open to it, if you are willing to work on the shift within, the shift in your thinking, the shift in your energy, the shift in LOVING YOURSELF FOR EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW KNOWING THAT YOU WILL BECOME ALL THAT YOU ARE MADE TO BE ON THIS EXCITING JOURNEY CALLED LIFE. If you need support in actualizing this, reach out. You can come into your power, into peace, into potential, into purpose in a way that will astound you. Let’s rise together and offer ourselves the freedom our souls rightfully deserve. Feel free to share! Comment here if these thoughts were helpful to you!
I've been working with business and government leaders for 20+ years as a Senior Executive Coach (PCC, ICF) and Leadership Development and Positive Psychology Consultant. I help leaders apply positive psychology to awaken to their highest potential and leave a lasting positive impact in their own unique way. Learn More
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